Ask Quincy

Quincy shares Quality tips and New Learnings with his readers

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Positive Thinking


Recent studies have shown that having a positive self-image plays an important role in your well-being. Researchers studied the death rates of a group of people who had taken a personality test 30 years ago. Not surprisingly, they found that pessimists tended to die younger than optimists.

Although the researchers didn’t know why pessimism led to early death, they suggested pessimists might be less likely to care for themselves, have regular checkups, keep doctor appointments and follow their doctors’ advice. Pessimists are also more likely to be depressed and think that every downturn is a hopeless catastrophe.

If you think you are pessimistic, try the following:

  • Surround yourself with people who think positively
  • When you think everything is going wrong, remind yourself that bad times don’t last.
  • For every negative thought, make a list of everything that is going right in your life.
  • Whenever you think of Worst Case Scenario, imagine the Best Case Scenario.
  • Focus on things you can control; try to change them for the better.

Two things you can control in this world are your appearance and your state of mind. To be content with what you are and how you look is a great accomplishment-which means a great degree of cultivation and practice. What you are is directly related to what you think.

Positive thinking will make you energetic, enthusiastic, and healthy. While negative thinking will make you depressed and unhealthy, possibly bringing about a devastating effect on your life. Your positive and negative thoughts can affect the outcome of your expectations in everyday matters.

If you start thinking you can not do anything right, you will probably lose heart and give up before you even give the matter a try. On the other hand, a positive thought such as “there has to be a solution to this problem” will motivate you to look for the solution. And if you persist you quite possibly could succeed. Often success comes from repeatedly trying to find a solution and refusing to give up.

Your thoughts greatly influence your personal problems. Negative thoughts and self image are common in bad moods and depression, whereas positive self image and thoughts are associated with feeling good and being happy.

The first step in changing our attitudes is to change our inner conversations.

What Should We Be Saying?

One approach is called the three C's: Commitment, Control and Challenge.

Commitment

Make a positive commitment to yourself, to learning, work, family, friends, nature, and other worthwhile causes. Praise yourself and others. Dream of success. Be enthusiastic.

Control

Keep your mind focused on important things. Set goals and priorities for what you think and do. Visualize to practice your actions. Develop a strategy for dealing with problems. Learn to relax. Enjoy successes. Be honest with yourself.

Challenge

Be courageous. Change and improve each day. Do your best and don't look back. See learning and change as opportunities. Try new things. Consider several options. Meet new people. Ask lots of questions. Keep track of your mental and physical health. Be optimistic.

Studies show that people with these characteristics are winners in good times and survivors in hard times. Research shows that,"... people who begin consciously to modify their inner conversations and assumptions report an almost immediate improvement in their performance. Their energy increases and things seem to go better ..." Commitment, control and challenge help build self-esteem and promote positive thinking.

Like other bad habits, negative thinking can be very difficult to change. You can only change it by practice, practice, and more practice. The more you flood your mind with positive thought alternatives by reading and practicing them, the more your thoughts and feelings will change for the better. Many people witness the power of positive thinking when they practice and repeat affirmations for spiritual growth such as, "I will face each new day with peace and love in my heart." It may take months of daily effort changing your habits of negative thinking before you notice much change in your feelings, however. But sticking with it and changing your attitude to a positive one will only lead to a higher level of success and satisfaction in the long run. Why not start today?

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Setting and Achieving Goals


Time is the great equalizer. Whether you are smart or dumb, ugly or beautiful, you have the same 168 hours each week that everyone else has. How you spend that valuable commodity determines the quality of your life just as surely as if you walked into a department store and ordered it. Time is more precious than any possession.

The irony of that prejudice is that good time management is a key--a key to achieving goals and enjoying life. The beginning is simple, a promise to yourself to be honest, and the first stage is the willingness to differentiate among fantasies, dreams, and goals.

I may fantasize that I am a rock star, adored by millions, or I may dream that I’m Donald Trump making million dollar deals. This latter dream usually involves rewards but not the work itself. Fantasies and dreams are alike in that they are always effortless. No work, no struggle, but instantaneous Fantasies and dreams help us to escape. Escape can be good entertainment, but goals are the markers on the road of accomplishment.

Set Goals

Goals are those accomplishments that we deliberately set out to achieve. They may be small and simple: I'll do the dishes tonight. Or they may be large, complex, and long term: I want to enjoy my work and do it well, or I want to create a family based on love and respect. We may choose goals in every aspect of our lives: personal, social, academic, occupational, athletic, and spiritual. A broad goal, such as good health, may spawn many smaller goals, such as maintaining a regular exercise schedule, eating a healthy diet, and getting regular medical checkups. Some goals are behaviours we want to decrease or increase or maintain.

New Year's resolutions -- those wild promises we make to ourselves after the indulgences of the holidays--are rarely kept, for we try to change too much too quickly. The truth of the matter is that if we want to change a behaviour permanently we usually have to change it slowly. Changing a behaviour requires some discipline, but not the amount most people imagine. The way to change a behaviour slowly is to make a small promise to ourselves, keep it, and reward ourselves. A typical example would be a CBA who has decided to go to work at 8 A.M the next day. He knows he needs to go to work to get paid, so he promises himself that he will go to sleep by midnight. He sets the alarm for 7 A.M. and places it across the room. When it goes off, he reminds himself of his promise and why it is important. As he's getting ready, he compliments himself on his behaviour and tells himself that going to work is important.

How we spend the minutes and hours of our days determines what we accomplish. Thinking about changing behaviours in our lives will not actually change them. Only actually making the change does. Talking about our weight while we are eating pizza does not cause weight loss. Exercise and a sensible diet will control our weight. Those links from behaviours to accomplishments to goals are crucial. Do our behaviours and accomplishments lead us to our goals or away from them?

If your current behaviours will not lead you to your goals, try the following three steps for two weeks. This time management system is not a jail.

Write down three goals you want to accomplish this year. You may want a raise, a date with the redhead that you pass every morning, or a better relationship with your family. Your goal may be large or small. If your life seems out of control right now, write down one goal for this week. What will you have to do to accomplish that goal?

Key Behaviour
Isolate the key behaviours for your goals. Work related Key behaviours may include going to work, paying attention and taking notes, reading new information, learning new applications etc. Personal key financial behaviours include planning a weekly budget, paying bills on time. Key personal behaviours include handling business details such as insurance and car inspections promptly, keeping your personal space neat, getting adequate sleep.

We lie to ourselves about key behaviours. They are often boring and mundane, and we want to delay them. Actually, we want someone else to do them. We want them to disappear. So we lie; we say that we will do it later, after the party or the movie. Tomorrow. Those lies usually result in poor effort (lower grades), late payments (penalties), and lower self-esteem. The more lies, the greater the amount of chaos.

Those lies are part of a larger behaviour pattern called procrastination. We may procrastinate in just one area of our life such as studying or that pattern may permeate the entirety of our life. Procrastination occurs when we deliberately choose to delay or omit a behaviour that we believe we should do. The reasons are legion. The most common cause of procrastination is our unwillingness to recognize and to pay the "price tag" for an outcome we say we want. An example would be that we want a 100% on the next Quality Eval, but the price tag is that we have to ensure all information is covered in the NORM Model, attend POD sessions, read the QuEST Connection Newsletter, attend coaching session with both my manager and my QuEST Coach, get outside assistance with behaviours I need to change, etc. How much do we really want that 100%? And then there is no guarantee that we will make it; that work just gives us the opportunity to achieve that grade. Any goal can be subjected to that kind of scrutiny. Price tags are usually much higher than we want to admit. We always look for a bargain; witness the current spate of television ads about weight loss without effort or denial.

There are more serious causes of procrastination. We may be so overcommitted that exhaustion engulfs us. We may be so bound to the conviction that what we do should be perfect that we are afraid to start, for whatever we accomplish it will not be perfect. We may be rebellious, even to the extent of rebelling against ourselves and our own goals. We may be afraid to succeed because our families or significant others have told us we are failures and we believe them. We may feel more comfortable with failure than with success. We may be depressed emotionally and feel so "dragged out" that we cannot start any new behaviour. We may be lazy and simply unwilling to work.

If procrastination is a characteristic of your life and you dislike the consequences of it, then take some time to reflect on why you do it. The suggestions that follow will help you overcome a mild case of procrastination, but if your behaviour stems from serious causes and is engulfing your life, then seek professional help. Procrastination is a learned behaviour; you can learn not to do it. You can learn to set your goals, plan your actions, and accomplish those actions in a timely manner.

If you want to change how you manage your own behaviours, then select a goal that is important to you. Write down the key behaviours for that goal. Which ones are you currently doing? Which key behaviour would you like to change? Focus on it. What can you do to increase the likelihood you will do that behaviour?

Make a Plan

Make a plan to make that key behaviour a habit. When a key behaviour becomes a habit (a behaviour we don't have to think about), we benefit. We are doing the right thing without a struggle.

Imagine a student in a freshman math class. She wants to make at least a B and realizes that a key behaviour is completing the homework problems on time. Her class is Tuesday--Thursday, and she often does her homework late on Monday and Wednesday evenings. By that time, she has forgotten what went on in class, and the problems seem overwhelmingly difficult. Two key behaviours for her goal would be to do the homework as soon as it is assigned and then review it before class. Her plan to make those behaviours habits is simple: On Tuesdays and Thursdays after history, she walks to the library and picks a quiet place to study. (She has set the video cassette recorder to record her favourite soap.) It has only been two hours since the math class, so she still remembers what went on in class. She starts working on the homework problems. If she gets confused or stuck, she takes a short break and then attempts the problem again. If she still cannot do it, she leaves it and attempts other problems. After working on several others, she again attempts the confusing one(s). If she's successful, she completes her work and goes home. If there are unsolved problems, she goes to one of the campus learning labs and requests help. Several days later, she takes thirty minutes before math class to look over the problems and quickly work one or two. She's ready for class. After two weeks, it's automatic for her to go to the library after history class. The habit is in place.

Two habits that can transform the quality of your life are simple and powerful. When something needs to be done, DO IT. Do it right away. Don't put it off. You will just think about it and feel guilty. The longer you delay, the guiltier you will feel. Whether it is getting out of bed and getting cleaned up or picking up the trash or reading the chapter--just do it.
Give yourself ten minutes. If you get up ten minutes earlier in the morning, you won't have to rush. If you leave for work or an appointment ten minutes earlier, you arrive on time, regardless of traffic or parking. That extra ten minutes reduces stress, and it also reduces the likelihood that you will make a mistake because you are hurrying. That extra ten minutes adds quality to your life.
Your TM and your QuEST Coach are your supervisors. They evaluate your performance, and your performance record is your transcript. Your transcript reflects your cumulative performance and is an accurate indicator of how well you have mastered the use of time. When you master time, then you are a professional.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Stop Pulling Your Hair Out!!


Lesson #1

Quincy here. I thought for my first lesson entry I would talk about something that affects everybody on a daily basis, stress. Stress is your body's response to any stimulus. Any type of stress triggers physiological responses: your adrenaline output increases, your heart pumps faster, and your breathing rate goes up. These bodily responses are positive if you channel them over a short period of time, but if there is no release, however small, then stress becomes a negative force. The strain of negative stress manifests such symptoms as: chronic fatigue, headaches, a change in eating habits, inability to concentrate, general irritability, as well as other physical problems.

A certain amount of stress, however, is beneficial. An experiment conducted in 1908 by Yerkes and Dodson studied the effects of stress on learning in lab animals. Those subjected in laboratory animals. Those subjected to extreme stress or no stress learned less than those subjected to moderate levels of stress. In 1983 a similar study was performed by Bossing and Rouff using children in a classroom environment. The 1983 study confirmed the results of the earlier experiment by Yerkes and Dodson.

There are many invaluable techniques to manage and reduce your stress level. I will be sharing more of these techniques in the weeks and month’s to come but I wanted to share with you one of my personal favourite techniques. I find that this is the perfect way to set aside stress so that you can enjoy both your time away from the office and your time at the office.

CLEARING YOUR MIND OF THE DAY'S EVENTS
"Clearing" is a technique which will help you to leave the personal/work activities behind you so that you may relax when you return home or reach the office. On a daily basis, you may experience situations which were not completed, and the clearing technique allows you to complete them both mentally and emotionally. Once a situation has been completed, you can put it behind you and put your attention more constructively to other areas of your life.

The Clearing Technique
To assist you in mastering this technique, create a daily clearing worksheet with three columns across the top of the page. Title the first column, "Incomplete Events, Problems and Thoughts of My Day". Title the second column, "My Next Step", and the third column, "Cleared".

  1. Follow these steps to use the worksheet:
    Before you start/ leave work, relax and review your day.
    In the first column (Incomplete Events, Problems and Thoughts of My Day), list the events of your day which are still in your mind, both pleasant and unpleasant, and things which were not finished i.e. unvoiced thoughts, undone tasks.
  2. Review your list and place a capital C in the third column (Cleared) beside events which were completed to your satisfaction. Let these items go from your mind.
  3. In the second column (My Next Step), write down beside each uncompleted item what you can do to rectify the situation.
  4. Once you have made your plans, visualize letting these uncompleted items go from your mind until it is time to deal with them.
  5. To fully use the clearing technique, spend no more than 10 minutes on your worksheet each day.

Practice this technique for a week, until you get into the habit of letting things go at the end of the day. Letting things go doesn't mean that you are going to ignore them, it means you will deal with them in the proper time and the proper place. As you become familiar with the clearing technique you can use it throughout the day in the various situations which you encounter. For instance, once you are satisfied that a situation, such as a conversation is completed and nothing remains to be said, you will be able to go onto the next event with a clear mind. Gradually, as you get better at this technique, your evening worksheet will only contain completed items. You will be better able to relax, as you will be free of unfinished business and won't have to worry about it. Q